


Being Human

by Kadira



Category: Vexille
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-23
Updated: 2008-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadira/pseuds/Kadira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria wants to feel human for as long as she still can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human

Maria had come to her later that day, or rather very early the next morning of what Vexille had come to secretly call the last of their days, just when the sun was rising over the desert. It was a beautiful image, almost poetical, at least as long as one could ignore the fact that ten years ago this wasteland had been one of the most populated places on Earth. Now the gigantic metal worms gave the view something surrealistic as they danced against the light of the upcoming sun, in their continuous search for food.

Vexille never had been to Tokyo, but she had seen photos and had listened to Leon's accounts of his life in the city. Neither the images nor his words corresponded with what Vexille saw here. The difference was so enormous that she had to keep reminding herself that she was indeed in Tokyo, albeit one that seemed to have its origins in a nightmare, like in the stories her grandfather had been so fond of telling her when she was younger (much to the chagrin of her mother).

"I don't care if you will understand it or not, but it was the only thing we could do for him." Vexille was startled out of her thoughts by the nonchalant voice that suddenly sounded from beside her. No, not nonchalant. There was a hard edge to it.

For a moment longer, Vexille looked into the desert, watched the shadows of the worms slowly retreating, then turned her head. "I know." It was the truth. She had known it the same moment she had realized what Maria had done, despite her bitter words when she had held the dead Takashi in her arms, even before Saga had explained it to her.

"These are our rules. They are necessary for our survival."

A yellow-red flash as Maria switched on her lighter, followed by the glowing red tip of her cigarette. For a moment, until the lighter was switched off, Vexille saw the other woman's eyes, maybe more clearly than any time before since she had met her. Instead of the calculated coldness from before, there was resignation now.

"He would have compromised our mission if we had allowed him to turn. He wouldn't have wanted it either. None of us do."

When Vexille thought of Takashi, she could only nod in agreement, no matter how painful it had been to see it happening. Takashi had been a boy, not a machine and at the very least he had been allowed to die as a _human_.

She could hear Maria's sharp intake of breath when the other woman took a drag from her cigarette. There was silence. It was sitting between them, but strangely enough not suffocating. It was just there, unlike anything Vexille had experienced before, like so many things since she had ended up here.

"We are still human," Maria said, her voice maybe a tad too hard and her gaze challenging. She stepped beside Vexille, so close that Vexille could smell the gun and Takashi's black blood, even if it had never touched Maria. " _I_ am still human," Maria continued, her voice even more insistent now, almost urgent, as if she wanted to convince not only Vexille, but also herself and just about every living (and no longer living) being near them.

Vexille looked at her silently, sure that there weren't any words to say, none of consolation and none that could really convince Maria that Vexille believed her. When Maria leaned in closer, her eyes gleaming behind her glasses, Vexille didn't retreat. Instead she leaned in a bit more as well. She felt the warmth Maria radiated, which surely proved that she was still human, just as much as the warm, _soft_ lips that were suddenly on Vexille's own.

The gaze behind the glasses was intense and completely focused on Vexille when Maria broke the kiss and Vexille couldn't prevent her tongue from sneaking out and licking over her own lips, savoring the lingering aftertaste of the other woman.

Human, definitely, Vexille decided. Not that she had any idea how robots tasted and felt, but she couldn't imagine that they had the same heated gaze, the same deep urging, the same desire to feel and to _be_. The man in the market place who had turned had had glazy eyes and seemed to have instantly lost interest in things that mattered to humans.

Instinctively, Vexille took the other woman's hand in hers, pressed it. "You are more human than many people I know", she said, then pulled the hand to her lips and kissed the warm skin.

Maria smiled her rare, fare-away smile. "We might die tomorrow. Or my transformation could be completed even before that, which means I will die. I want to feel human for as long as I can. For as long as I am still alive and this," she snipped away her cigarette, then touched Vexille's face, "still means something."

"And what about Leon?" Vexille asked, finally remembering her comrade again, the only other survivor of her troop. Yet her hand had already laid itself over the one on her cheek. "He loves you," she still said. The words weren't as hard to say, as they maybe should have been. Maybe because she had always known that she would never be the #1 in Leon's life.

"He isn't here," Maria said then, voice soft and hard at once. "He will understand," she added, her fingertips still on Vexille's face, warm and inviting and _human_. Vexille felt drawn to that warmth, to the fire of the other woman, even if she had to disagree on that point. Leon wouldn't understand this. Not after he had waited so long for Maria.

Then again – did it really matter?

They were soldiers who were one step away from war, one step away from a robotized utopia, somewhere between death and life. After the last few days in this twisted mirror of a world, filled with people more human than most Vexille had met in her life, she really wasn't sure anymore just what still mattered.

Maria leaned forward, her hot breath gracing Vexille's ear. "I want to feel human for as long as I still can," she heard the whisper in her ear as Maria repeated the words.

Vexille found herself once more nodding before she framed Maria's face with her hands and kissed her.

***

Later, when they reluctantly let go of each other and prepared themselves to close in on war yet another step, Vexille could admit without hesitation that Maria was more human than anybody else she has met, maybe even more than herself.

\----


End file.
